Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Erotic Romance and the Average Guy.

During a moment of quiet reflection I started to wonder about why the biggest market for erotic romance is the female population. I know why my girlfriends and I read romance and have been in discussions online where women reflect similar reasons for loving to read raunchy love stories, but that wasn't what I became curious about. 

My mind went to the male species. Now, I don't profess to understand men completely, they remain an oddity to me on many levels but one thing in particularly fascinates me. Why DON'T men read romance? I realize some do, but assume they are in the minority. I spent quite a few years living in an area where most of the discussions I had were with male friends of my hubby and it became clear they really had no idea what women liked or needed in a relationship. Female friends often bemoan the fact that their significant others really have no idea what constitute romance when it comes to their relationship. A cheeky wink and a 'how about it' statement does not see the males in those relationships getting hot sex. Usually because it's the only affectionate or interested form of communication they've shown their partner all day. I understand life gets in the way of romance sometimes but come on, surely men understand female arousal isn't a tap you can turn on and off at a moments notice. 

We want to be treated well, have someone hold a conversation with us, give us affection not just an erection. Engage in sensual foreplay to get us in the mood. Not just slap our ass on the way to bed, after an exhausting day, and say how about it, baby? I don't know many women who would say yes to that sort of approach in a bar or club and just because a couple reaches relationship or marriage status that doesn't change. So why don't men get that? I don't know the answer but I do know it seems logical that if women are more interested in curling up in bed with a good fictional character rather than their hubby, then surely men realize the answers, or some of them, are in the books we read. 

Yes, romance heroes are larger than life but the way they treat their women isn't, or shouldn't be. They show respect, care and affection towards those they love. They want to know what turns the woman they're interested on, get to know their partners likes and dislikes, they know how to tease and play with their lovers bodies to make sure they ready, willing and even begging for it by the time they get to the main event. Romance heroes ensure their women cum and usually not just once. The fact that romance heroes are tall, gorgeous and well hung, has nothing to do with how they treat women it's all about being interested in knowing what makes the women they love tick. 

So it seems logical to me that if our male counterparts read a few romances, took note of how the heroes related to women, then we might all be a lot happier with each other and most definitely more sexually satisfied. They may even enjoy the plot that accompanies the hot sex scenes. Reading what women like becomes an avenue of opening the lines of communication, discussions about what your partner finds sexy in a story may lead to experimentation. In one BDSM romance group I'm a member of, women interested in trying out aspects of the lifestyle, quite often mention using the books they read as a way of opening discussion with their other halves about trying new things. This poses the question of why is it that the women need to suggest it. Why aren't our fellas asking to read what has us so interested?

As I said, I don't understand the male mind and could ponder all sorts of answers to the question. Lack of interest, not thinking they need to learn anything, viewing the books as soppy love stories, worried about what their mates might think. The list goes on. It still doesn't change the fact that if you want to know what a woman finds attractive in a man and what turns her on, then a romance is a great resource to use. 

Before I finish I have to include a disclaimer. Even though so far I've spoken in general terms I don't mean to coat all men with the same brush. In my 47 years I've know a lot of men. No I'm not saying how many...lol. A lot of them actually enjoyed seeing a woman get her rocks off, it gave them great pleasure and they knew exactly how to make that happen in all sorts of sensual and erotic ways. I count myself lucky that I've had a lot of great partners when it came to sex, but some women aren't that lucky. 

So I'm issuing a challenge to men. Pick up an erotic romance novel, read one of the books your partner owns if you don't want to buy one but take note on what's inside the cover, and not just the sex scenes...lol. It could improve your partners and your sex life, better yet it may make the woman you love a lot happier, and that's definitely gotta be a good thing. 

So what do think, fellas? I'm sure your partners would be happy to share their books with you...or would we, ladies?  

Men reading erotic romance...are you up for it? 


  1. A couple of men read and reviewed mine (To Wed a Werewolf) One wanted to know what his girlfriend was reading. The other thought it wasn't for the faint-hearted.
    Not sure what that means though.

    1. Thanks for the comment Kryssie, I've had a couple of men mention reading my books as well. It's a start I guess :)

  2. Oh how I wish hubby dearest would take up reading some Romance novels or some Erotica. I am reading Lord of the Vampires by Gena Showalter at the moment and to be on the receiving end of some Alpha male obsession would not go astray right about now.