Love Kills Slowly - Be my Anti-Valentine

Today I'm packing away my cynicism and general loathing for populous tradition and blogging about Valentines Day. Oh Yay... *feigns enthusiasm*

So, is it appropriate for a romance writer to blog about Valentines day in the way I'm about to do? For me the answer is why not, it's just a personal opinion and everyone is entitled to that. From a romance writers perspective the blog could probably be more optimistic, advocating the happily ever after or happy for now attitude of my work but that just seems disingenuous.

In order to write about Valentine's Day, I looked up the history of it. According to what I found it's a pretty morbid and contradictory account of how the day came to grace our calendars. Anyway, here's the abridge Jan Graham version of my discoveries. There are three St Valentines in catholic history and there is confusion about which saint the day actually originated from. The most likely candidate is a priest (by the name of Valentine, of course) who was imprisoned and ultimately martyred for performing marriage ceremonies for soldiers living under Roman rule who were forbidden to marry. During his imprisonment Valentine developed a thing for the daughter of his jailer and before his death wrote her a letter that began...'From your Valentine.' Years later the christian church, in an attempt to damper the pagan ritual of Lupercalia, a fertility festival dedicated to the Roman God of agriculture, decreed St Valentines Day to be the 14th February. The saints day eventually became associated with a day to celebrate love.

Reading the history actually reinforced my opinion of the day. It appears to be a celebration birthed from struggle, rebellion, lost opportunity, conflict and ultimately death. There was no happy ending for Valentine or the woman he wrote the letter for. The pagan festival was eventually outlawed and the world has been left celebrating a day of love that had very little love in it's origins at all. That is unless you have a different perspective of what love is.

From my own experience of relationships as well as talking to friends and seeing how there relationships unfold, aspects of all the things the day is based on reflects modern day loving relationships. Conflict, struggle, lost opportunity, rebellion, death. They all play a part in what I see around me from those who profess to love someone. Being committed to someone isn't easy, and it's how we handle the conflict and angst that ultimately determines whether we are successful in love or not.

I often hear stories about people giving up an opportunity in life to be with someone they love, changing a behavior or habit (letting something of themselves die) to please the person they love. Couples fight and struggle to find a common ground while they are effectively attempting to merge two lives into one. Some couples survive the turmoil that comes with love, other's don't. I must say I know very few people who have the happily ever after ending I like to write about, but for those who don't there is still a sense of hope that next time things will be different.

I wonder whether Valentines day plays a part in keeping our sense of hope alive.  Even with the rise of the anti-valentine (which I'm loving by the way) with it's myriad of cards, parties, events and poems filled with skepticism, I suspect we all still have hope about love.  A belief that one day each and every one of us will find the person that fuels our erotic fantasies. Dare I say it, our soul mate who completes the missing pieces of our life and brings us ultimate happiness.

Even as I typed that last statement conflict welled within me. The ever optimistic, romantic in me sighed in sweet delight at the thought, while my inner jaded lover cringed, wanting to reach for a bucket.  I guess it's not just love that brings about angst and turmoil, but also Valentines Day.

So will I do anything to celebrate Valentines Day this year - probably not. Will I receive a Valentine from a secret admirer - I doubt it. Will I get all Anti-Valentine and send my friends world-weary tributes to love filled with sarcasm - quite possibly :) After all, that does appeal to my wicked sense of fun. The other thing I may do, just to participate in the capitalistic fervor, surrounding the day is buy myself a gift.

To purchase

What do you all think, is this the perfect Anti-Valentine bag you've ever seen....gotta love Ed Hardy.

It would be a replacement for the the love kills slowly bag I already have that's getting a bit scruffy from many years of constant use.

I think it's totally fitting for Valentines, considering the day did have it's origins in death...lol.


So what are you doing for Valentines Day? Are you getting all Anit-V or spending it with someone you are totally enamored with? Whatever it is you do, even if it's nothing, I hope you enjoy it.



 

Truth or Dare Tuesday - Hepszi Hoyle

Today's Truth or Dare is my friend a one of crit readers Hepszi. Welcome Hepszi, I'm looking forward to seeing the questions you've chosen to answer and what you have to say. Before we here Hespzi's truth let see what she has to tell us about herself.

Hello everyone on Jan's blog. I'm happy to be here answering questions today while I build up the guts to do one of Jan's Dare's. So I may be back in a few weeks for a very different reason.

I've known Jan for a lot of years, we worked together in her past live as a childcare worker and have stayed close ever since. I'm an avid reader, particularly of the romance genre but I do read general fiction as well through a book club that I attend every week. I'm one of Jan's crit readers when she works on her books and enjoy giving my opinion about what's working well and what I think should be changed. Not that a lot needs changing, well most of the time :) I often tell Jan that I'm her Gail, you know, Oprah's very wise friend that I'm sure Oprah pays attention to ALL the time (hint, hint, Jan).  

I hope you all enjoy my answers and in a few weeks, when I decide which dare to do, I'll be back on here again. Fingers crossed and providing Jan can take the picture of me doing whatever it is I decide to do.

Thanks Hepszi, now let's find out some hidden truths I may not know.

Who is a movie villain you find attractive?

Do you remember the Robin Hood film in the 80’s?  I think Alan Rickman played the Sheriff of Nottingham, now he was hot to look at and hammed the part up with humor.  I can still remember the fight scene where Robin and the sheriff were dueling over maid Marion and I was thinking: “ if I was Marion, I’d stay with the sheriff.” Can’t remember who played Robin, oh wait it was Kevin Costner.  I wonder why he didn't do it for me.  Must have been the trousers not tights!

What is the meanest thing that you have done in your life?

When I was in Preschool, I locked another child in the toilet cubicle.  I have some vague recollection it was over some slight that occurred in the sandpit.  Needless to say I didn't get away with it.  In turn the teacher “locked” me in the kitchen behind a screen door. (she could see and hear me so don’t get upset)  I can still remember thinking that as punishments go I had the best deal as I was sitting in the room with all the morning teas.

What do you think your best and worse physical attributes are?

I would have to say my worst physical attribute is I am terribly uncoordinated and short sighted. I find this funny now as people have always told me the color of my eyes are the bluest they have seen. I think the shapes of my legs are my best feature.

What is the worst thing about being an adult?

I think the worst thing about being an adult is the loss of innocence, as you grow into adulthood you gradually loose the rose colored glasses.  You see reality, you begin to loose imagination like the ability to levitate off the ground which you did as a child.  As a child you can do and achieve anything as an adult you learn about limitations.

If you had only 24 hours left to live, what would you do?

I would call as many friends and love ones together as I could and have one hell of a slap bang party/wake. 

Thanks lovely, I've discovered a few things I didn't know about you. Firstly I'm glad I didn't know you in preschool and secondly, I totally agree about Alan Rickman (aka Severus Snap from Harry Potter) as the Sheriff of Nottingham from Robyn Hood - Prince of Thieves. 

What does everyone else think (well those that remember the movie) who did you prefer, Alan Rickman or Kevin Costner?

Truth or Dare Tuesday with Jan Graham

Well the festive season is over and it's back to the regular everyday stuff of life. That means Truth or Dare Tuesday is back...yay. I realize for my followers in Australia It's already halfway through Tuesday but give a woman a break, it's over 40 degrees out there today. For my American friends that well on it's way to 109 degrees in Fahrenheit. Yep It's scorching.

Anyway, enough about how hot I am :)

Today we have our first dare...yay. Unfortunately it's me doing the dare so please don't be disappointed. Let me explain how this came about.

I know an extraordinary woman by the name of Shan Watts. She is not only a good friend but owner of an inspirational website - creating connections. At the end of 2012 Shan interviewed me and while discussing my blog, Truth or Dare in particular, the sneaky woman challenged me to do one of my dares. So I said sure, why not. 

You see I had a plan. My challenge was to do an impromptu pole dance in a public place and over Christmas I had a few parties to go to and decided it would be easy to pole dance in front of some kinky friends take a pic and then - fait accompli - dare completed. you know the saying abut the best laid plans, well that applied to the dare. At the party there we NO POLES I could use, not even on the porch or outdoor area. I had to go to plan B, which of course I didn't have. Luckily for all of you another opportunity arose.

My good friend, I call her S asked me to go with her and her biker hubby to the 34th Annual Bikers Christmas Toy Run. Oh yes...I did. At the largest and longest running Biker event in Newcastle, Australia, I did my pole dance. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, in fact nervous probably doesn't describe it. I had fun at the event, contemplated my options, checked out some hot looking tattoo covered leather wearing hunks and then decided it was now or never. So dressed appropriately in my Little Miss Naughty T-shirt, black skirt fishnet stocking and black boots (low heels so I didn't fall over) I found a friendly looking light post. I must say at this point, thank you to the lovely leather clad gentleman who parked his bike near a vacant pole so I could have a photographic backdrop :) 

S armed herself with the camera and I began. I can't put most of the pictures on here because they are of me laughing hysterically while trying to wrap my legs around around a rather ample post (don't be rude). I drew a small amount of attention, mostly just odd stares, a few whistles and comments I can't repeat.  There was one fellow who rod past along the path and stated in a very stern voice "that's enough of that behavior young lady."  

I was pleased he thought I was young :)

So, here it is. Proof of the first dare on Truth or Dare Tuesday, me pole dancing at the 34th Annual Bikers Toy run in Newcastle, NSW. Oh and I need to think up a really good pay back dare for my friend Shan...any suggestions?

How embarrassing...lol

Secret Cravings Second Anniversary Cruise

Wow two years and still growing. Secret Cravings Publishing (SCP) is holding their second anniversary celebrations this weekend. Thirty authors are going on a virtual cruise around the world and stating their cruise destination on each of their blogs. There are prizes galore, from not only SCP, but also each participating author. I'm giving away an ebook copy of each of my cougar novellas, yep all four to one lucky winner. Below you'll find the blurb for each of the four titles, so you know what you're in for if you win. All you need to do to go in the draw for my books is comment on this blog and if you aren't already a follower then please follow the blog. My winner will be chosen on Tuesday, January 8th and notified via email so be sure to leave a valid email address with you're comment. If your email is sent back to me as not valid a new winner will be chosen. 

To be eligible for the major prize draw with Secret Cravings you need to answer or match a minimum of 25 of the 30 authors to their chosen cruise locations. The list of participating authors can be found on the SCP blog -http://secretcravingspublishing.blogspot.com/ once you have your answers email them to the beautiful Dawne. the email address is  reviewcoordinator@secretcravingspublishing.com 

The SCP prizes are 

Grand Prize- iPad2

First place- Kindle Fire

Second Place- $50 SCP gift card

Third place- $25 SCP gift card

Well, while you read the blurbs for my four Cougar novellas I'm heading for my cruise destination... MONTEGO BAY, JAMAICA.

Good Luck everyone and Happy Anniversary Secret Cravings Publishing.

The Sydney Cougar Series, available from the Hot Flash titles at SCP...buy now.

Zeke Munroe is twenty eight, owns a nightclub called Rubens and has found the woman of his dreams. She’s older, she’s sexy and she’s driving him nuts. He can’t find the right time to introduce himself and make his move, until she walks through the door of his club. 

Jasmine Page is thirty nine she’s an events organizer and Rubens is the hottest new venue in the city. When she goes to check the venue out Jasmine discovers she’s in a Cougar Club. The men are young, the women mature and the owner of Rubens is the closest thing to perfection she’s ever seen.

Zeke and Jasmine need to overcome preconceived notions, miscommunication and an eleven year age difference in order to see if sexual heat and passion can turn into a meaningful relationship.

Justin Davies is twenty-eight. He manages Rubens nightclub, affectionately referred to as The Cougar Club. His life is good, except for one thing. A sexy little cougar has dumped him and Justin wants her back. He knows she is the only woman that can make his life complete, he also believes he can do the same for her. When Justin recruits some friends to help him catch his commitment phobic cougar, the fun begins.

Katie Swayne is thirty eight, an artist who’s finally started to achieve the success she always dreamed of. She doesn’t need anything to interfere with that, especially a relationship. Katie’s rule when it comes to men is, love them and leave them, never get emotionally involved. Then she met Justin Davies. Once Katie realized she cared for Justin, she didn’t merely walk away. Katie ran, as fast as she could, determined to never look back. 

Isabelle O’Connor never considered herself the type of woman who needed a knight in shining armor to come and rescue her, until one does. Well he’s more a knight in blue jeans and white shirt. After all, it is modern times. Unfortunately, her perfect hero has a flaw... he’s a cop.  Isabelle decided years ago never to become involved with a police officer again, and she isn’t going to change her mind now.

Mark Dean loves being a cop. He also loves the hot redhead he rescued from a creep’s unwanted attention at a local nightclub. Mark knows that before he can gain Isabelle’s affection he has to convince her of something. Being a cop has nothing to do with her reluctance to date him. Isabelle’s heart never healed after the death of her husband and Mark makes it his mission to help heal this feisty Cougar’s heart.

Susan Dean didn’t have any idea that taking a job at her brother’s law firm would change her life. Then she met junior partner Blake Daniel’s. They are complete opposites. Blake is young, confident, dominant and determined to claim anything he wants in life. Not that he’d want a woman who turns into a clumsy, nervous wreck that can barely string a sentence together when he’s in the same room as her, or would he?

Blake is a patient man, and it’s a good thing he is because waiting for Susan Dean is driving him to distraction. The attraction between them is obvious. He turns her into a horny mess everytime they’re in the same room, not that Susan appears ready to admit that fact. Once Blake decides it’s time to make a move on his voluptuous co-worker, Susan will have no option but to submit to his seductive demands.