What a disastrous idea!
After many hours of research or depending on your view of things, perving at images on the net, I discovered an unknown truth about the male species. You see it is just as difficult to find fictional men (pictures of anonymous guys that resemble my hunks) as it is to find perfect real life ones. How disappointed was I? I always believed that you can find anything on the net, but Sunday night proved me wrong.
Yes, there are lots of pictures of sexy men on the net. Google them and up they pop. Loads of them, just not ones that I needed. Story of my life really, lots of men around, none that I'm interested in. Of course there were some criteria that limited my search.... the pics needed to be stock photos, royalty free and not cost a bomb if there was a fee attached. Then there was the physical characteristics of the men I was looking for. A blond wavy haired sex god with brown eyes, a dark haired dominant hunk with nearly black eyes and a long haired lean muscled guy with tats.
Easy I hear you say, what's she bitching about?
Well here's what I found out. Sexy blond haired men don't exist if you want them to have long or shoulder length wavy hair. Straight hair, short hair... no problem. Sexy men with dark short hair are in abundance (which you would think gave the character of Daniel a leading edge.... wrong). They are in abundance with light coloured eyes not dark brown, nearly black. Most blond men have blue eyes, men with really dark brown eyes that are nearly black must never allow people to take pictures of them. Men with long hair of any colour who have tattoos either look like drug addicts or Satan.
Some of the men who, in the thumbnail images, looked like they might have a sexy dominant appearance usually turned out to be an illusion. Once the image was enlarged they looked like they were trying to pass a rock. If they weren't passing a large item out their bum then they just looked like they'd slap you if you offended them. Finally, about 10pm, I found three pics that I thought would be perfect. Yay me. Unfortunately perfection costs and I refused to pay $200 AU for the right to use the pictures. Like an unpublished author has that kind of money to throw away.... NOT. So I did the only thing I could think of that might be of use. I enlisted my best friend, the gorgeous Lady Macbeth, to help me (much to her husbands' amusement).
One long distance telephone call later and she was on the phone telling me it can't be that hard to find what I was looking for. After assuring her hubby she was not looking at porn, we set out again to find Christian, Daniel and Steve. At about 1am, after searching men who were too thin; too young; too old; muscles too big (yes this is possible); men who looked mean, sappy, gay, violent, drug addled; wrong colour eyes; hair not long enough; hair not wavy enough or OMG how many times was he hit with the ugly stick.... I finally called it a night. Disappointed and frustrated I went to bed... (again, not a new feeling... it's the story of my life really).
Monday morning with a new determination I finally found images that, even though they aren't exactly what I had in mind, they'll do. Yes... I settled. Just like so many of us do in real life I found men that weren't exactly what I was looking for but they'll do. I guess it's true that beggers can't be chosers.... even when your looking for an imaginary man.
MMMM Yummy indeed, as you know I have always had a thing for brown eyes you can just fall in love with a mans dark brown eyes can't you?. I like being the research assistant, I have never googled "sexy men" before and it was an eye opener, who knew there were so many men who liked their photos taken? thousands and thousands of them *wipes the drawl off chin*. If you need any more work from your devoted research assistant I am but a phone call away, until than I will do the mundane wife and mother duties *sigh* now get back to writing Steve's story I need a hero in my life, hubby is getting tired lol.
ReplyDeleteYour such a wonderful assistant... and task master. I'm going back to Steve now, you can put the whip away.
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