We are a multicultural Society...
Being Australian is about driving in a German car, to an Irish pub, for a Belgian beer, then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
We have excellent health care...
In Australia a home delivery pizza gets to your house faster than an ambulance.
In Australia retailers make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front counter.
We lead a healthy lifestyle...
In Australia people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke
We understand the value of items...
In Australia banks leave both doors wide open and chain the pens to the counters.
In Australia we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Some of us aren't in the genius category....
3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives to fix things instead of screwdrivers.
31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Aussies were admitted ER in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
and finally...my favourite
In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
For those planning to visit at any stage, here's a useful map to help you see the sort of dangers you may encounter throughout your journey.
Disclaimer: For anyone who loves to lead the politcally correct, sensor what everyone says lifestyle, this post is intended as a humorous look my culture.
