Erotic Romance and the Average Guy.

During a moment of quiet reflection I started to wonder about why the biggest market for erotic romance is the female population. I know why my girlfriends and I read romance and have been in discussions online where women reflect similar reasons for loving to read raunchy love stories, but that wasn't what I became curious about. 

My mind went to the male species. Now, I don't profess to understand men completely, they remain an oddity to me on many levels but one thing in particularly fascinates me. Why DON'T men read romance? I realize some do, but assume they are in the minority. I spent quite a few years living in an area where most of the discussions I had were with male friends of my hubby and it became clear they really had no idea what women liked or needed in a relationship. Female friends often bemoan the fact that their significant others really have no idea what constitute romance when it comes to their relationship. A cheeky wink and a 'how about it' statement does not see the males in those relationships getting hot sex. Usually because it's the only affectionate or interested form of communication they've shown their partner all day. I understand life gets in the way of romance sometimes but come on, surely men understand female arousal isn't a tap you can turn on and off at a moments notice. 

We want to be treated well, have someone hold a conversation with us, give us affection not just an erection. Engage in sensual foreplay to get us in the mood. Not just slap our ass on the way to bed, after an exhausting day, and say how about it, baby? I don't know many women who would say yes to that sort of approach in a bar or club and just because a couple reaches relationship or marriage status that doesn't change. So why don't men get that? I don't know the answer but I do know it seems logical that if women are more interested in curling up in bed with a good fictional character rather than their hubby, then surely men realize the answers, or some of them, are in the books we read. 

Yes, romance heroes are larger than life but the way they treat their women isn't, or shouldn't be. They show respect, care and affection towards those they love. They want to know what turns the woman they're interested on, get to know their partners likes and dislikes, they know how to tease and play with their lovers bodies to make sure they ready, willing and even begging for it by the time they get to the main event. Romance heroes ensure their women cum and usually not just once. The fact that romance heroes are tall, gorgeous and well hung, has nothing to do with how they treat women it's all about being interested in knowing what makes the women they love tick. 

So it seems logical to me that if our male counterparts read a few romances, took note of how the heroes related to women, then we might all be a lot happier with each other and most definitely more sexually satisfied. They may even enjoy the plot that accompanies the hot sex scenes. Reading what women like becomes an avenue of opening the lines of communication, discussions about what your partner finds sexy in a story may lead to experimentation. In one BDSM romance group I'm a member of, women interested in trying out aspects of the lifestyle, quite often mention using the books they read as a way of opening discussion with their other halves about trying new things. This poses the question of why is it that the women need to suggest it. Why aren't our fellas asking to read what has us so interested?

As I said, I don't understand the male mind and could ponder all sorts of answers to the question. Lack of interest, not thinking they need to learn anything, viewing the books as soppy love stories, worried about what their mates might think. The list goes on. It still doesn't change the fact that if you want to know what a woman finds attractive in a man and what turns her on, then a romance is a great resource to use. 

Before I finish I have to include a disclaimer. Even though so far I've spoken in general terms I don't mean to coat all men with the same brush. In my 47 years I've know a lot of men. No I'm not saying how many...lol. A lot of them actually enjoyed seeing a woman get her rocks off, it gave them great pleasure and they knew exactly how to make that happen in all sorts of sensual and erotic ways. I count myself lucky that I've had a lot of great partners when it came to sex, but some women aren't that lucky. 

So I'm issuing a challenge to men. Pick up an erotic romance novel, read one of the books your partner owns if you don't want to buy one but take note on what's inside the cover, and not just the sex scenes...lol. It could improve your partners and your sex life, better yet it may make the woman you love a lot happier, and that's definitely gotta be a good thing. 

So what do think, fellas? I'm sure your partners would be happy to share their books with you...or would we, ladies?  

Men reading erotic romance...are you up for it? 

Roses and Chocolates Blog Hop

I loved the idea of being involved with the Roses and Chocolates blog hop because I very fond of both items. My trepidation surfaced when I found out the hop included writing a blog about a memorable time when I was given either chocolates or roses, that's when I came unstuck.

You see, even though I've reached the wonderful age of forty-six, I haven't really been given either item under circumstances that you'd call memorable. Yes, as Linda Ronstadt once sang...poor, poor, pitiful me. I have been given flowers, generally after someone died or as an apology from a lover after a disagreement. As for chocolates I don't generally get those at all. So, what am I doing wrong? Who knows, maybe I need one of the men from my novels, a man who wants to woo me and tell me how special I am with not only his words but gifts and gestures of love, like cooking dinner.

In my most recent novella, Mark, the hero is a gift giver, flowers, perfume etc. In Playing Jax, my second novel due to be released mid May there is actually a discussion about what flowers mean and why men give them to women.

I've decided that since flowers appear as a theme in both my latest works it must be saying something about me. I think I want flowers. I want a man who gives them freely without a hidden agenda or ulterior motive. In my next relationship I will determine to find a man who does just that. Maybe then, if the roses and chocolates blog happens again, I'll have a memorable story to tell.





Blog Giveaway:

Win a PDF copy of my latest Cougar Novella, Healing a Cougar's Heart. Simply comment on this blog post and tell me if you would prefer a lover/friend to give you chocolates or flowers as a gift and you'll go in the draw to win. Remember to leave your email addy as part of the comment so I can contact you if you win. Conditions for the competition are listed at the end of this post.

Enjoy an excerpt from Hearing a Cougar's Heart. 

The knock on her door brought her back from her thoughts. Flowers greeted her when she answered the door, in fact, a huge bouquet of the most beautiful flowers she’d ever seen. She eagerly accepted the delivery. No one ever sent her flowers. For a moment she wondered if she should have read the card before the delivery girl left. What if they weren’t meant for her? No, the young woman had asked for Isabelle, so they couldn’t be a mistake.

 She got a large vase from the cupboard, filled it with water and−hey presto−a stunning display of color sat in the centre of her dining table. She unpinned the card and sat down on the sofa. Her hands shook as she stared at the little envelope. It definitely said Isabelle O’Connor. She took a fortifying slurp of coffee and then pulled the card from its white wrapping.

 Let me show you how an honorable man treats a gorgeous lady. Please come to dinner with me tonight. Mark Dean.

She stared at the card, re-read it, placed it on the coffee table, stared at it some more, and picked it up again. His mobile phone number was printed under his name. Her mind raced to understand what it could mean. Well, apart from the obvious “have dinner with me” bit. Surely he didn’t think she was gorgeous? If anything, that should be a word applied to him, not her. She reached for her phone and began to dial.

Gorgeous. If that’s what he thought of her, it was an added bonus. Dinner with the man who had filled her dreams last night was a definite yes, please.

* * * * *

Other blog hop participants to check out.

1.  Lea Barrymire

2.  Michele Hart
3.  Rose Leigh Woods
4.  Carolyn Rosewood 
5.  Rita Bay
6.  JoAnne Kendrick
7.  Becca Simone
8.  Siobhan Muir
9.  Camile Carson
10. Wendy Soliman
11. Kasey Dean
12. Alicia White 
13. Lynn Tyler
14. Hennesee Andrews
15. Christi Bart
16. Nicole Morgan 
17. Missy Lyons 
18. Jan Graham 
19. Casey Crow
20. Simone Sinna  
21. Lea Kinkade

 Conditions of competition entry:

- Entering this contest means you have read, understood, and agree with all rules and regulations stated.- Entrants must be 18 or older (or age of majority in your country) to enter and to win.- No purchase necessary.- Void where prohibited.- All stated rules are subject to change without notification or reason given.- Chances of winning vary widely based on the number of entries received.- Prize is as stated. No substitutions or exchanges. - Contest host is not responsible to misrepresented/mistyped email addresses, spam filters, mailer daemons, and other internet wackiness that may crop up at the time of winner notification.

- Winner is final.- Contest Starts 00:01ESTMay 5th and Ends 12:59EST May 9th and open to International participants- Winner will be notified via email no later than 10:00EST May 10th -Respond by date to collect prize is 14 day, 12:59EST May 24th

It's Amazing What A Younger Man Can Do For An Older Woman.

It's official.... I have just signed my first publishing contract! Yay.

*Insert mental picture of a chubby woman doing a happy tushie dance here*

My good friend Suzie has been telling me for too many years to remember, I should ditch dating the older aging hippies I'm usually attracted to and go for a younger man. Yeah, Yeah... blah, blah... has always been my standard response. Well on the fourth of September 2011 a younger man by the name of  Zeke made my day and I'm still reeling from the aftermath.

Get your minds out of the gutter.... please, what do you think I'm talking about here?

If you've read any of my previous posts, visited my facebook page, or had anything to do with me over the last twelve months, you'll know that I've been trying to get my novel "Finding Angel" firstly written and secondly, now that it's completed, published. It's been an interesting time. Angel still needs a home and I'm confident she will find one, we just need to be patient. But Angel is another blog for another day, today it's all about hot, young and very sexy, 28yr old.

Zeke popped into my head as I was looking at submission requirements for publishers to submit Angel's story too.

I happened to noticed a publisher (Angel's story didn't meet their criteria), was asking for submissions for a new line called Hot Flash. They were seeking short stories/novellas that centred on liaisons between older women and younger men. And there was Zeke, like a little light shining bright in my head. I must admit he was a bit pushy, wouldn't leave my thoughts and out of sheer desperation, in an attempt to simply get rid of him I started to write. Zeke and his love interest Jasmine made their way to the pages before me and, 5 days and almost 20 thousand words later I had written 'The Cougar Club'. I sought the opinion and quick editing  opinion of my two friends (Heps and Suzie, hi lovely ladies) who always help proof my work and then sent the submission off to the publisher. 

I wrote the story and did the submission, mainly for the experience. I had a friend tell me that Zeke was a mere distraction and I should get back to writing the follow up to 'Finding Angel' after all, Steve (the main character of the book) is more my age and he's a damn fine man to be involved with. I shouldn't be flirting and running off to play with a 28 yr old.... yeah right.

When the offer to publish and the contract arrived I was blown away. I sat at my computer and burst into tears, don't ask because I have no idea why. Crazy 45 year old woman hormones probably, or shock, who can tell. Poor Suzie thought someone had died when I rang her at the crack of dawn and gave her the good news. She ran around her house and did the happy tushie dance for me, as did my friend Heps because I admit it took me about 24 hours to get into dance mode... but I'm there now.

So, what of my flirtation with young men and have I finally returned to Steve?

I loved the experience with Zeke, it was a quick, flirty, lust filled affair, that's left me fanning myself in amazement. I get a warm shiver of excitement every time I think of him, but I have gone back to Steve. My heart currently belongs to him, he is more my age and he draws me in the most subtle of ways. He waited patiently for my return, he understood my need for distraction and now that I'm back with him we are having a lot of fun. He knows I'm loyal to him and will ensure his story comes to life in a timely manner. I have to confess though, Steve caught me looking at the door of The Cougar Club yesterday, he merely shook his head and laughed. He knows I have a wandering eye, he also understands that Justin, the clubs new assistant manager, needs my help to win the heart of Katie. 

I love you Steve and I'll be back soon.... Mwah.

Note: The Cougar Club, is being published by Secret Cravings Publishers with an expected release date of February 2012.

Thank you Secret Cravings, you are the best and here's a free plug.
I think everyone should waddle over to the Secret Cravings Bookstore and buy an ebook, of course it won't be my book just yet, but you can always revisit the site again in February. I'll be sure to remind you all.

In the meantime have a look and save the store in favourites. http://store.secretcravingspublishing.com/

Finding Angel Character Biographies Finished.

Well it has taken a little while but I have finally added the character bios to my blog site. After all, what else is there to do on a cold, rainy Sunday in Tahmoor.

There are four pages in total (one for each of the main characters). Just look at the page menu on the right hand side of this page and you should see the bios listed.

You can find out all the relevant information on Christian, Daniel, Steve and Angel. There is of course the basics of what each of them does and their physical appearance but I've also tried to give you an idea of the type of people they are. To help you get a better feel for the gang I've also included some personal quotes made by each of them in the book and a picture collage inspired by each character.  

Anyway I hope you enjoy the read, and don't forget to let me know what you think.

Looking for sexy men.

On Sunday night I started working on the bio's for the men from my novel Finding Angel. While I was putting the info together I decided you might like some pics to help you visualise my heroic hunks.

What a disastrous idea!

After many hours of research or depending on your view of things, perving at images on the net, I discovered an unknown truth about the male species. You see it is just as difficult to find fictional men (pictures of anonymous guys that resemble my hunks) as it is to find perfect real life ones. How disappointed was I? I always believed that you can find anything on the net, but Sunday night proved me wrong.

Yes, there are lots of pictures of sexy men on the net. Google them and up they pop. Loads of them, just not ones that I needed. Story of my life really, lots of men around, none that I'm interested in. Of course there were some criteria that limited my search.... the pics needed to be stock photos, royalty free and not cost a bomb if there was a fee attached. Then there was the physical characteristics of the men I was looking for. A blond wavy haired sex god with brown eyes, a dark haired dominant hunk with nearly black eyes and a long haired lean muscled guy with tats.

Easy I hear you say, what's she bitching about? 

Well here's what I found out. Sexy blond haired men don't exist if you want them to have long or shoulder length wavy hair. Straight hair, short hair... no problem. Sexy men with dark short hair are in abundance (which you would  think gave the character of Daniel a leading edge.... wrong). They are in abundance with light coloured eyes not dark brown, nearly black. Most blond men have blue eyes, men with really dark brown eyes that are nearly black must never allow people to take pictures of them. Men with long hair of any colour who have tattoos either look like drug addicts or Satan.

Some of the men who, in the thumbnail images, looked like they might have a sexy dominant appearance usually turned out to be an illusion. Once the image was enlarged they looked like they were trying to pass a rock. If they weren't passing a large item out their bum then they just looked like they'd slap you if you offended them. Finally, about 10pm, I found three pics that I thought would be perfect. Yay me. Unfortunately perfection costs and I refused to pay $200 AU for the right to use the pictures. Like an unpublished author has that kind of money to throw away.... NOT.  So I did the only thing I could think of that might be of use. I enlisted my best friend, the gorgeous Lady Macbeth, to help me (much to her husbands' amusement).

One long distance telephone call later and she was on the phone telling me it can't be that hard to find what I was looking for. After assuring her hubby she was not looking at porn, we set out again to find Christian, Daniel and Steve.  At about 1am, after searching men who were too thin; too young; too old; muscles too big (yes this is possible); men who looked mean, sappy, gay, violent, drug addled; wrong colour eyes; hair not long enough; hair not wavy enough or OMG how many times was he hit with the ugly stick.... I finally called it a night. Disappointed and frustrated I went to bed... (again, not a new feeling... it's the story of my life really).

Monday morning with a new determination I finally found images that, even though they aren't exactly what I had in mind, they'll do. Yes... I settled. Just like so many of us do in real life I found men that weren't exactly what I was looking for but they'll do. I guess it's true that beggers can't be chosers.... even when your looking for an imaginary man.

The Virgin Blog or How to Lose your Virginity at 45.

This is the monumental virgin blog... meaning my first on this site. For all those dyslexic people who are thinking I'm a virgin and I'm writing a blog all I can say is.... lol, yeah right, I'm 45 yrs young....you're too funny.

Anyway, I just spent the last few hours trying to figure out what I'm doing (a tech head I am not) and hopefully now I've got it all sorted out. Well it's all sorted until I hit my first problem where something doesn't work properly.

So why am I doing blog I hear you say? Well for a few reasons, some of them based on technical incompetence, others on the need for a presence on the net and simply because I think it could turn out to be a bit of fun. 

Safety tip number one: never say you'll do something before investigating if you can do it.

I've ended up with this blog by accident. Initially I set up a facebook page to promote my work as an author. I had a few people who liked the page suggest that I put character profiles and some chapters on it so they can read bits of the novel. Good idea I replied, I'll do it!  Then I couldn't figure out how to do that on the facebook page.... mmm, yes technical incompetence. I had to admit that I jumped before looking and I overestimated my ability again. So, after much thought and beating myself around the head, I decided to set up the blog and link the facebook page to the blog.... no applause needed.

So, for those that know me on facebook, I'm still there and all you have to do is click the link I provide and you'll find me here, blogging away in my PJ's while eating pringles :)

The second reason for setting up the blog was to have the ability to include the blog spot and the facebook page links in submissions for publishers. I can't understand why publishers require an online presence when you're unpublished but according to some submission guidelines they do.  So given that a web page is so out of my reach on both a technical and financial basis, here I am.... Blogging.

My final reason for blogging is a simple one..... I think it might be fun. I am looking forward to being able to hop on here in the early hours of the morning when I can't sleep (yes happens often) or I'm bored (happens sometimes) and dribbling incoherent shit all over the page just to amuse myself. Oh, and of course hopefully amuse you guys as well.  I will begin the character profiles from the first novel 'Finding Angel' within the next few days so stay tuned. I'll then post some of my favourite bits from the novel so you can all get titillated. Finally I'll do an update on the second book and keep you all posted as it progresses.

Well that's all for now, the pringles have run out and I need a cuppa.... ciao for now.